Parenting

“mommy, you hurt my feelings”

Lately we’ve been talking about the impact of making good choices and bad decisions. We always remind Kristo that bad decisions will always have consequences, one of which is hurting the feelings of those who love you. I tell him that when he blatantly disobeys just because he wants to do his thing, it hurts me. Just the same, when we make bad choices, we end up hurting God.

Well, this afternoon my 7 year old son told me that I hurt his feelings last night. I was clueless about what he was talking about so he told me how when last night I asked him to fix his bed before sleeping, he said he was trying really hard to put the pillowcase on his pillow. I honestly thought he wasn’t taking it seriously because it took him forever to do it. I thought he was just buying time because he still wanted to stay up. Since it was way past his bed time, I told him to stop what he was doing and just sleep. He hurriedly lay down and closed his eyes, so I switched off the lights and left his room. He said he was so hurt because he was trying his very  best but I didn’t see that. He also asked why I didn’t notice his wet eyes. He had been crying? Oh no… 😦 Then he said it… “you didn’t notice coz you were watching tv” …. ouch. I had no idea how hurt he was. I was more concerned about the time rather than the effort he put in. Bad choice right there. Ayayay.

I’ve heard about how parents should never ask for apology, even if they’ve hurt their child. I’ve heard the lines “I’m the mom, why should I say sorry?”. The answer to that question is simply “Because you’re being a good example if you do.” 🙂 Our kids should learn forgiveness from us. If they know that we can admit our mistakes and apologize for it, then it would be easier for them to do the same whenever the situation calls for it.

I’m thankful that he was honest about how he felt towards me. It wasn’t his agenda to hurt me, rather his goal was a resolution. From experience he knows that it helps to talk about how we feel, rather than acting all grumpy towards the person who hurt you. He knew that as soon as he told me how he felt, I’d apologize and he would feel better. He had faith in our relationship and I like that. I like the way he trusts us with his feelings. I know that as he grows up changes will happen for sure, but I hope this is one thing that won’t change.

Finding out that I hurt my son was a bitter pill to swallow, but his “I forgive you mommy” will always be one of the sweetest lines I’ll ever hear in this lifetime.

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3 thoughts on ““mommy, you hurt my feelings””

  1. Sweeet story! I can already imagine Kristo and you in my mind… ang cute!

    Haaaayy, when it comes to saying sorry, veteran na ako. It’s still hard but not as hard as before when I was SO prideful 🙂 when you’re high up there and you fall, your pride hurts so much that it’s difficult to say sorry coz your so busy feeling your own pain. But if youre humble and you’re on level ground, your fall is shorter. Humility makes sorry an easier word to say…

    1. Yup! that’s soooo true. And I think if you deal with an issue or hurt while its “small”, it’s easier…rather than dealing with hurt that’s snowballed.

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