This mommy took time out to get all pampered from head to toe on Bonifacio Day, a non-working holiday here in the Philippines. It was a treat, in the truest sense, `coz it was all for free, thanks to Dream FM’s event “What Dream Women Want” 🙂 I was there at 10am (`coz I was there to help out with writing stuff for the event) and by noon I got nail art done (pink nails with tiny flowers on each nail!) then towards the end of the day, I finally got to try this diamond peel everyone’s been talking about!!! 🙂
Aside from getting all pampered and pretty, I always consider it such a treat, such a privilege to meet other amazing mothers! So you can imagine how thrilled I was to speak to……
Gina Abuyuan, the editor-in-chief of HIPP Magazine!!!! 🙂 She was there to talk about progressive parenting. Listening to her talk about her advocacy was such a joy — because a lot of the things she talked about confirmed what I’ve been doing with Kristo! 🙂
Here are some of the points that stood out for me throughout her talk:
- Parenting is a lifestyle. It isn’t just a part of who you are 🙂
- As parents, we’ve got to take care of ourselves, so we can take care of our kid/s.
- Progressive parenting is a non-judgemental approach to parenting, it’s about being informed but also sensitive to take the cue from our kid/s plus it’s also about finding ways to discover our kids’ strengths 🙂
- Progressive parenting promotes understanding and critical thinking. This means that it’s really encouraged that we explain why we want our kids to do certain things and not just say “because I said so” when they ask “why.” This, according to Gina Abuyuan, encourages their negotiation skills which is a very important life skill.
- When it comes to respect, it is given and earned. This TOTALLY makes sense! Short story: When I left Manila to work and “soul search” for a bit in London, Kristo was a year and a half old and he stayed with his dad while I was away. When I came back right before his 2nd birthday, he insisted on calling me “owie” and not “mommy” — yes, this was totally heartbreaking. I’d convince him a gazillion times to call me “mommy” but after a while I realized that I needed to give him time too. I tried to look at the whole situation from his perspective. Yes, he was just two, but fact remains….one night we were playing and giggling and all, then he fell asleep beside me and when he woke up, I wasn’t there anymore. I didn’t come home the day after, and the day after that and there were just phone calls from mommy once a week or so. Then, his phone pal shows up one day and expects him to act as if she didn’t leave! When I saw that picture, I finally got it! So, as I spent more time with him, he eventually called me “mommy.” I was obviously able to earn back his respect, as I gave him respect. I have so many more stories about giving and earning respect when it comes to our mommy-son relationship, but bottom line is: RESPECT IS GIVEN AND EARNED — even if you’re THE mom or dad! 🙂
- Our kids are their own! They aren’t ours. We can’t have them live out OUR dreams. We shouldn’t tell them WHO they are and who they should be. Each child is unique. Each child is special. It is our role as parents to help them discover these gifts and then encourage them and I’m gonna say it again — we are here to be their number one fan! 🙂
Hope all you progressive parents are encouraged by that! If you want more from Gina Abuyuan and her team, grab a copy of HIPP (Happy, Intelligent, Progressive Parenting) Magazine!